I just went back, through all my posts. Such common threads are so apparent that I really can see who I am, what my (sadly and gratefully) continual struggles are, who I am striving to become and the glimmers of that authentic self poking through.
Living in Arizona now. In the same body struggling with weight issues and self love lack leaving a whole the size of a large meteor. Still working on feeding my soul and finding a relationship with myself and spirit. i could say I am dismayed to see myself stuck still here, but I will only say, I am here and still cognoscente of all this being present, and glad it has not gone. i am not yet the person i am capable of being, but grateful everyday of the knowledge of who that is and the opportunity to continue to become her.
Back in a full time job. Feels fullfilling in the sense of what I am providing for my family and that I work for a company that REALLY values their people and has integrity. We are doing an interesting training class today talking about behavior Analytics, and it has brought up some interesting thoughts for me. Because, though not in the class or even via the information provided thus far but in running into my competent trainer in the bathroom I am caught off guard when she asks "how are you Mia?". Why, I wonder, does my brain immidiately go to "why, do I look like something is wrong?" or I cn't quite meet her eyes because I feel the need to apologize for my mere existance.
This completely caught me off guard. Why do I still feel like a child and not an adequate person or contributing adult member of society?
More to come later as I ponder this over the rest of class and learn what my true personality base types are.
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