Dear Grandpa,
Happy 91st Birthday. Doesn’t seem that long ago that Dad & I were living with you and Grandma in that awful time when my parents divorced. For me that’s when the vivid memories of mine start with you.
I remember frequent trips to Sea World and The Zoo. I was a lucky granddaughter, and I know that now. I don’t know anyone else that was able to visit those amazingly fun places as frequently as I was, and that was all because of my grandparents. I remember going to the Zoo to specifically see the newest Alaskan Brown Bear Cubs, Sheena & Spanky. They were brought to the Zoo in 1986. I was 5 years old. As we visited over the years we got to see them grow up together.
I remember so vividly you helping me with my summer school geography class. That place mat of the United States and all the capitals helped so much. I received a perfect score because of your constant quizzing over breakfasts and lunch. I see the importance that you placed on “places” so much in my Dad now too.
Camping in the motor home in the Laguna Mountains, I remember how cool I thought it was to have this “house on wheels”. Playing cards or trivial pursuit in the back and watching Grandma cook away in that tiny kitchen. And to have a bed so high off the ground! I remember the smells. So difficult to describe now but they are pungent in my memories. Like how you are the only person that comes to mind when I smell Old Spice.
At the house, all the Christmas traditions and family dinners we had celebrating, arguing, laughing, and giving each other a hard time. That was what the Hylton’s did. I remember not wanting to leave every Christmas morning to go to my Mom’s because I wanted to stay with the Hylton side of the family.
I remember being able to use your dark room during those years I took photography in summer school, and looking at all those photographs that you had entered in the Fair. Your paintings as well. You are so artistic and talented Grandpa. And the Wood work you have done, the work on making that house a home for your family. That’s what made it special, I could see you, Grandma, Dad, Charles and Dwight in every square inch. I am proud to be a Hylton.
Thank you for everything you have given me over all these years that we have had together. Thank you for helping take care of me when my parents split up. For putting a roof over our heads before Dad bought the Condo. Thank you and Grandma for picking me up from school there at Lindbergh Elementary all those times. Thank you for helping instill in me such values as honesty and manners. All, things I hope to pass on to Hailey.
I hope you know how much you are loved. How much I love you. Happy Birthday.
Love,
Mia
*After questioning if these sentiments were adequate of portraying enough of the love I feel for my Grandfather, my Dad confirmed....it was just what needed to be said. As I wrote it I felt I was being too simple, not enough detail in the words to evoke those feelings in him that I actually have remembering them. The truth of the matter is, this was my first draft uncensored letter to my Grandpa on his Birthday.
In any other family situation this would be a lovely idea. Getting each family member to write wonderful memories they have of or with the birthday person in question....sadly, this is not the case for my family.
We decided to write these memories down and give them to my grandfather (I am the only grandchild) and in other cases, write to their father. Making a point to keep all memories positive. All feelings portrayed grateful and loving. because 1) that is truly deep down what we feel and 2)my grandfather/their father has chosen a little witch of a wife over any blood family he has left. He has shut us, and the truth out. The witch has tainted his views of us mostly as a device to sway him to leave all he has ,most of which is the house he and my father and uncles built for their family with their own hands. The house in which I have SO many awesome, ugly, emotional, saving, wonderful, cheerful, warm memories tied up in. We are no longer welcome in that home or in his life. So we do only what we can. Which is this. No more fighting, because the grandfather I knew and loved died when that woman came into our lives. The man I know would not shut out his own sons. He would not turn his back on the memory of (and I quote him) "The best woman I've ever known". But that man is gone.
So in the hopes that sending this to the stranger inhabiting my grandfathers body will take the memory of what I wrote with him when he leaves this life, at least I have the satisfaction of knowing I said it. I didn't let happen what happened when my grandmother passed. She passed without knowing how much I appreciate what she did for me, or how much I realized that I took her for granted and what she was trying to pass on to her only grandchild should have been shown more respect and value. This time I am putting it out there. Grandpa Olds, I hope someday you hear me. And, to the witch...It comforts me that I am a FIRM believer in Karma.
Until we meet again...
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