Headed In A New Direction....With Fresh Eyes

This past weekend really took it out of me.  Physically drained from emptying a 10x15 storage unit and moving its contents too and fro, ultimately getting rid of most of it.  Hopefully those things are with people now who could really use them.  As freeing as it was to shed so much 'stuff' from my life, that storage unit contained my married life.  So as I got to go through all that solo, there were the inevitable emotional land mines......exploding right in my face. 

So with that sorting, exploding and shedding behind me, I am looking at this Monday as a fresh start.  New perspective, happier things, happier times.  Enjoy the sun, the fresh air, enjoy life!  And begin surrounding myself with like minded people....as I already have.  This 2011 is still looking damn promising......and I am nothing but optomistic!

"If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you.  You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down."

-Mary Pickford

NOBODY'S GONNA BREAK MY STRIDE, NOBODY'S GONNA SLOW ME DOWN OH NO IVE GOT TO KEEP A MOVING

Needs To Be Posted.....again.....

Sometimes You Just Have To Laugh

With all the drama that is currently in my life, some of the best advice I've gotten is...."don't you just want to laugh?".  It's true....the drama has not only bordered on the edge of the pool we call ridiculous...the drama did a belly flop into that pool.  And ridiculous has splashed all over the place. I could get into specifics but that is not what MY blog, MY thoughts or MY space should be giving it's attention to....instead....

Life is beautiful. 

Yes.  I said it.  Smoggy, sick filled, downtrodden, catastrophe laden, rainy, cry inducing, scream creating, tear my hair out, panic attack  life.....is beautiful. 



Because, with all the madness....there is beauty here.  I am just grateful that I know this.  This is not a fact i search for proof of anymore...I just know. 

Progress.

Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past

I cannot change what is behind me.  I cannot live and move forward all the while looking in the rear view mirror.I cannot predict the future or worry about events that have yet to happen.  All I have is now. 

One Foot In Front Of The Other

I'm back.  It feels like so much has happened since I was last here.  Thanksgiving and Christmas have come and gone, and 2011 is right around the corner.  I know I have a lot of people praying for me, pulling for me, wishing me the best in what's going on in my life.  For that, I thank all of you and I am eternally grateful.  I think it's been working.  Christmas was the best, most mellow Christmas I could remember and there has been a sense of peace in my heart ever since then. Moving forward, one step at a time, that process has commenced finally with a sense of calm instead of turmoil.

So as i continue my journey, my Blog and my ramblings, I hope I as well as any who read will tend to see a change here....as it will be reflecting my life and myself.  I feel good.

''The time has come,' the Walrus said,
  'To talk of many things:
Of shoes -- and ships -- and sealing wax --
  Of cabbages -- and kings --
And why the sea is boiling hot --
  And whether pigs have wings.''

The Guest House

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

-- Jelaluddin Rumi,

*This is my poem to rebirth.  I post this to start again in my writing venture.  To inspire the feelings and the words to come from them for me to write again.  I sunk for a moment.  I have come to the surface and see the sun again.  Now we move forward.  I am grateful for the storm.

Thankful

It's a rough time of year.  These Holiday's always bring about great warmth and memories, yes, however it reminds me of family members that are no longer with us.  No longer here to share these times and continue making memories as people and families grow.

I think of my Grandpa Gates.  He passed when I was very young but I remember what a light he was in my family.  He was the bright spot.

I remember Grandma Hylton.  She passed right before thanksgiving.  I am thankful that after her passing I actually came to understand her and appreciate the things she tried to teach me when she was alive.  I should have paid better attention then, but at least I know now and she and I have made peace with each other.  I often think of when I will see her again and how we will only need to smile at one another and all will be understood.

then I think of Grandpa Hylton.  You may remember him from a previous post.  He just turned 91, but I have begun to mourn him already due to his choice to disown his three sons and myself at the hands of the witch he calls a wife.  I am thankful for the time I had with him, pre-witch.

I am thankful for my Mom and her continuous support and guidance in my emotional growth.

I am thankful for the relationship I have with my Dad now, as it was not always a good one.

I am thankful for the dog I adopted as he was absolutely THE dog that was meant to be in my life for so many reasons.

I am so very thankful for my Hailey Bug for teaching me what true unconditional love is.  For helping me learn patience (don't get me wrong, I haven't mastered that one yet), and for just being her.

I am thankful for those in my life who have given of themselves without expecting anything in return.  For those who have been there to help me (emotionally, physically and financially)

I am thankful for my job and all the amazing people I get to work with everyday and how much fun I get to have there.

I am thankful for extended family and support offered through difficult times.



I am thankful for my breath, my health, shelter, food, the sun and the moon.